Wrestling with Windows Vista

So I find myself compelled to obtain a new computer. This is against my better judgement. But Laura needs a computer, and she is (rightfully) loath to deal with the learning curve for pain-in-the-ass Windows Vista, which apparently is what comes on new PCs these days.

What she wants, she says, is my laptop, which works well and has plenty of memory and storage. Also, it’s reliable. This is important, because she needs to use it to deliver a long lecture, complete with PowerPoint slides, at a convention in Atlanta this week. She possesses neither time nor inclination to mess about with a new piece of hardware. Smart, is what she is.

All of this, then, is how I found myself in a wrestling match.

Remember the story, in the book of Genesis, of Jacob wrestling with the angel?  As I recall it, Jacob pulls his Winnebago into the KOA campsight late one evening, warms up a can of Dinty Moore stew and grabs a bottle of beer out of the ’fridge. After dinner, he plays some blues on his old Martin, then settles in for the night. He drops off to sleep, then wakes, only to find himself in the wrestling match of his life. His opponent is, it turns out, an angel.

He and the angel wrestle all night. Dawn arrives without there being a clear winner, the pair call it a draw, fry up some eggs and bacon, do some biscuits in a Dutch oven, make a pot of coffee, then get on with their day.

Right? Something like that.

Anyway, that all-night wrestling match is about what I went through last night with this new laptop I hauled home from Office Depot yesterday. There’s nothing wrong with the hardware, mind you. It’s just that Microsoft has made the process of loading software so difficult and complex that it’s actually more fun to repeatedly whack one’s thumb with a hammer than it is to try to get Windows Vista to recognize and accept some of the programs meant to operate with it.

For instance, Vista supposedly will recognize any printer you plug into the computer’s USB port. I futzed with this one problem for about 40 minutes last night before my printer actually awakened.

Or this: Laura and I both use Windows-enabled SmartPhones. This means that we can plug our phones into our computers, Windows (supposedly) will recognize them, charge them, and allow information to be traded – schedules, contacts, e-mail, the lot. But when I ran the setup last night, I got a message saying that Vista would not operate with the Windows system on my phone – which Microsoft wrote and provided: Go to the Microsoft site and download new software, a message instructed.

Fine. Only problem is, this new computer didn’t want to recognize the wireless signal coming from the modem in the next room – the same wireless signal that my old computer recognizes just fine. So I can’t get onto the Web. OK, call the ATT/Yahoo tech desk, wait on the line for a tech to finish his lunch break. Finally, problem solved.

Now, wireless system working, download the new phone software from Microsoft. Three times. The phone still doesn't communicate with Vista. But I haven't given up on this.

There’s a trial version of MS Office on this computer, which was good, I thought, because the new Office 2007 pack that I bought from Amazon to work with Vista won’t be here for a few days yet. So I tried to wake it up. An authorization number appeared – followed by a message that said that I was trying to use an unauthorized authorization number, that all operations would immediately cease, and that I was a very naughty boy. This was my new computer, and Microsoft’s software, telling me that the number Microsoft generated to activate its own trial software was wrong. You couldn’t make this stuff up!

Could I get my Palm software running – the same stuff that runs beautifully on my old computer, which uses Windows XT? Nope. Of course not. This problem remains to be sorted. Again, I haven't given up.

I did manage, finally, to figure out how to move photos archived on my external drive back onto this new computer’s hard drive. But doing this is, as far as I can tell, is nowhere near as intuitive as it should be.

The thing is, Jacob’s wrestling match finally ended. He cranked up his Winnebago, started the air conditioning, checked his GPS system and then drove off down the Interstate toward – I forget, Yosemite, maybe, or Disney World? I fear that my bout with Windows Vista is just beginning, especially since I still have to load new versions of Office and Photoshop.

So here’s today’s message: Accept that you should never, ever, buy a new computer unless your old one explodes. But yes, unfortunately you will eventually have to gravitate to Windows Vista – there seems no way to avoid it, unless you defect to McIntosh or Linux, which might not be such a bad idea. But put it off for as long as you can.

- JFT

Comments

[Mut]

Here's a hint: Uninstall Vista, install XP. Seriously, there is absolutely no need for anyone except posers and nerds to run Vista.